Self Reflection
29 June 2009
Filed under Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, Writings
Tags: Abuse, best friend, Dissociative Identity Disorder, family of choice, Mental Health, original writing, poetry, satanic ritual abuse, self awareness
I try not to think too deeply, lest I realise how much the present mirrors the past.
I try not to feel too strongly, lest the dam break and everything burst through.
I try not to love completely.
There are few words of love I haven’t heard twisted before.
I try to remember that not everything is fake, that some people really are safe.
I try to believe that it’s OK to let my guard down sometimes, to let someone else carry the weight.
I try to exist, in spite of those who wish to stop that happening.
I try to simply let myself be, to understand that I am my greatest obstacle.
I try to rise above the anger, but sometimes it swallows me anyway.
I try to understand what happened to me, why it was allowed, and what its purpose was
I try to live beyond that, to become who I am.
I try to open myself up slowly, to show the centre of me to those I love.
I try not to let the fear of that force me away.
I try to stay present, to remain a part of my own life.
I try not to collapse inside myself.
Because, even though I can’t always believe, I deserve a chance.
What a wonderful post. Yes, you really do deserve a chance. And it’s nice to see that positive statement. Paul.
Thanks, Paul. I’ve found that creative writing is a really great way for me to express those pesky little feelings that I can’t seem to say.