Comments for Delightfully Scattered Thoughts http://englishrain.wordpress.com A chronicle of my thoughts on grief, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Satanic Ritual Abuse, and some other bits that are actually light and very nearly funny Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:51:12 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Dream States by Christian H http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/dream-states/#comment-542 Christian H Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:51:12 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1632#comment-542 I get that sometimes. I assume it's because I've awoken from the wrong part of a sleep cycle. Sometimes I don't really believe what time it is until I start my shift at work. I need that geographic distance before I can reset myself. It's like the whole world is just pretending that I'm awake or just pretending to be real or something until that happens. (I think half of it is that I want to convince myself that I should go back to bed.) It usually follows, incidentally, believable and quotidian dreams. Once I dreamt that I went to bed and put something on the table next to my bed. When I woke up the next morning, it took hours to shake the feeling that that object ought to have been there. My point is, it's a normal but disconcerting phenomenon. I think, personally, stress triggers it. At least, I've been getting it increasingly the last few months and I'm increasingly stressed for the same period. And I've known lots of folks who can't remember their dreams. (The only mammals that don't dream are tree anteaters, incidentally. Unless your father had severe sleeping abnormalities, he dreamt.) I've tried convincing them that they dream and just don't remember it, but they never believe me. I have given up since. I get that sometimes. I assume it’s because I’ve awoken from the wrong part of a sleep cycle. Sometimes I don’t really believe what time it is until I start my shift at work. I need that geographic distance before I can reset myself. It’s like the whole world is just pretending that I’m awake or just pretending to be real or something until that happens. (I think half of it is that I want to convince myself that I should go back to bed.)

It usually follows, incidentally, believable and quotidian dreams. Once I dreamt that I went to bed and put something on the table next to my bed. When I woke up the next morning, it took hours to shake the feeling that that object ought to have been there.

My point is, it’s a normal but disconcerting phenomenon. I think, personally, stress triggers it. At least, I’ve been getting it increasingly the last few months and I’m increasingly stressed for the same period.

And I’ve known lots of folks who can’t remember their dreams. (The only mammals that don’t dream are tree anteaters, incidentally. Unless your father had severe sleeping abnormalities, he dreamt.) I’ve tried convincing them that they dream and just don’t remember it, but they never believe me. I have given up since.

]]> Comment on Masks by englishrain http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/masks/#comment-540 englishrain Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:06:28 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1606#comment-540 Kate, sorry it took me a few days to respond. I'm sorry, too, that you've lost friends because you trusted them with your background. It makes me furious when people who lost so much to ritual abuse in the past lose things to ritual abuse long after it's over. My best to you, Kate. Take care and keep yourself safe! Kate, sorry it took me a few days to respond. I’m sorry, too, that you’ve lost friends because you trusted them with your background. It makes me furious when people who lost so much to ritual abuse in the past lose things to ritual abuse long after it’s over. My best to you, Kate. Take care and keep yourself safe!

]]> Comment on Masks by kate1975 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/masks/#comment-536 kate1975 Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:23:50 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1606#comment-536 Hi, I can relate to this. I have lost friends just because I told. And then they have disappeared. I try to be open about my ritual abuse survivorhood online, but keep that private with a lot of people that I meet. They really need to prove themselves to me now. I'm sorry you were hurt. Good and healing thoughts to you. Kate Hi,

I can relate to this. I have lost friends just because I told. And then they have disappeared. I try to be open about my ritual abuse survivorhood online, but keep that private with a lot of people that I meet. They really need to prove themselves to me now. I’m sorry you were hurt. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

]]> Comment on So There! by kate1975 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/so-there/#comment-535 kate1975 Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:19:53 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1616#comment-535 I can relate to what you are saying. Your other therapist "got" it. And that means so much. I have always believe that that is the kind of therapy that I have always needed and never gotten. I would not want to say more than it was a tough time of year. I just wouldn't. And I don't believed that saying it and believing it makes it any tougher. Though talking about specifics can make me worse. I'm glad that your good therapist stopped in. Way to go her. Good and healing thoughts to you. Kate I can relate to what you are saying. Your other therapist “got” it. And that means so much. I have always believe that that is the kind of therapy that I have always needed and never gotten. I would not want to say more than it was a tough time of year. I just wouldn’t. And I don’t believed that saying it and believing it makes it any tougher. Though talking about specifics can make me worse. I’m glad that your good therapist stopped in. Way to go her. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

]]> Comment on Masks by vickiinaz http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/27/masks/#comment-533 vickiinaz Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:34:22 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1606#comment-533 I am glad that you share your struggle here my friend. I know it is so painful and real. Yep, people just don't want to know "that". Even the more mild "that" freaks them out. WIMPS!! Everyone has struggles, just because mine don't look like yours, they are struggles and pain all the same. I have found a safe place with safe people who are working hard. Just thought I would tell you in case you are interested. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/home?id=991417 Take care. Vicki I am glad that you share your struggle here my friend. I know it is so painful and real. Yep, people just don’t want to know “that”. Even the more mild “that” freaks them out. WIMPS!! Everyone has struggles, just because mine don’t look like yours, they are struggles and pain all the same.

I have found a safe place with safe people who are working hard. Just thought I would tell you in case you are interested. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/home?id=991417

Take care.
Vicki

]]> Comment on Strawberry Fields Forever by englishrain http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/strawberry-fields-forever/#comment-532 englishrain Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:04:44 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1589#comment-532 Vicki, you are absolutely one of the most caring and warm-hearted people I've had the pleasure to 'meet' through the blogging world. Halloween is usually a difficult time for me, but I'm happy to say it's going well this year. The Winter Solstice is my worst day in regard to SRA. I've planned ahead for that as well, though, so here's hoping it passes like any other day. Hope things are going very well for you. Caring thoughts right back at ya! :) Vicki, you are absolutely one of the most caring and warm-hearted people I’ve had the pleasure to ‘meet’ through the blogging world.

Halloween is usually a difficult time for me, but I’m happy to say it’s going well this year. The Winter Solstice is my worst day in regard to SRA. I’ve planned ahead for that as well, though, so here’s hoping it passes like any other day.

Hope things are going very well for you. Caring thoughts right back at ya! :)

]]> Comment on Strawberry Fields Forever by vickiinaz http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/22/strawberry-fields-forever/#comment-531 vickiinaz Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:23:34 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1589#comment-531 Hi. Checking in. I am so happy that you have a foc. I am so happy that you have allowed yourself to have this. You are so deserving. Yes you know reality my friend and the amazing part which you need to give yourself huge credit for is YOU chose it. This is worth so much. How are you? Is this a hard time for you? Just want you to know I care. ♥ Hi. Checking in. I am so happy that you have a foc. I am so happy that you have allowed yourself to have this. You are so deserving. Yes you know reality my friend and the amazing part which you need to give yourself huge credit for is YOU chose it. This is worth so much.

How are you? Is this a hard time for you? Just want you to know I care.
♥

]]> Comment on Welcome to Debtor’s Prison by vickiinaz http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/welcome-to-debtors-prison/#comment-530 vickiinaz Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:12:26 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1600#comment-530 Sending you hugs and support. I wish it could be different. Sending you hugs and support. I wish it could be different.

]]> Comment on Welcome to Debtor’s Prison by englishrain http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/welcome-to-debtors-prison/#comment-529 englishrain Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:50:27 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1600#comment-529 Thanks, Kate. Bloody annoying, isn't it? I think I was able to find more work as a child. Grr... Glad thinks worked out for you in the end. Thanks, Kate. Bloody annoying, isn’t it? I think I was able to find more work as a child. Grr… Glad thinks worked out for you in the end.

]]> Comment on Welcome to Debtor’s Prison by kate1975 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/welcome-to-debtors-prison/#comment-528 kate1975 Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:46:18 +0000 http://englishrain.wordpress.com/?p=1600#comment-528 Been there, done that. It was hilarious to me, at the time, to find out that I had to save up for bankruptcy. Though they let me do payments, but I had to have it paid before they would do the court filing. There were days I could not eat. Not so hilarious. Good and healing thoughts to you. Kate Been there, done that. It was hilarious to me, at the time, to find out that I had to save up for bankruptcy. Though they let me do payments, but I had to have it paid before they would do the court filing. There were days I could not eat. Not so hilarious. Good and healing thoughts to you.

Kate

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