That was my question for the shrink this morning. I thought she was adding to my list, but she is changing the diagnosis from bipolar I to depersonalisation disorder. My reaction to this is confusion. It’s good that she is acknowledging the trauma and the dissociation, but acknowledging the trauma reinforces the fact that it [...]
Posts Tagged ‘depersonalisation’
Now what?
Posted in Abuse, Depersonalisation Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Therapy, tagged Abuse, bipolar disorder, depersonalisation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Therapy on 29 September 2011 | 1 Comment »
Learning Emotions
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, depersonalisation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, grief, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, self awareness on 1 August 2009 | 2 Comments »
It’s not unusual for survivors of childhood trauma to have very little concept of emotion as adults. For survivors of SRA, this is magnified even further. Recognising that SRA is a very controversial topic, I can only speak from my own experiences. However, I’m hoping this post might be helpful to other SRA survivors out [...]
Panic
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged depersonalisation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, Mental Health, reincarnation, satanic ritual abuse, time, Wicca, winter solstice on 30 June 2009 | 2 Comments »
Today is the last day of June. The end of the first half of the year. And I am panicked. Very. I feel like time is going too fast and we’re headed too quickly towards a fiery end. I believe in reincarnation, have had some experiences that can only be described as past life memories, [...]
Lost in Myself
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, tagged alters, del amitri, depersonalisation, DID systems, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, frustration on 2 May 2009 | 3 Comments »
Sometimes I feel like a twisted version of Narcissus, staring at my own reflection until it takes over and drowns me. The difference is I’m not ever sure who is staring back at me. I’m getting rather tired of constantly having to reassess my life. At one point, things actually felt stable. Maybe I’m in [...]
Trust
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged Abuse, depersonalisation, depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, trust on 24 March 2009 | 2 Comments »
This is such an important issue for trauma survivors, and it is *so* difficult. We have trouble trusting even those we love most. When we do form trust, it’s precarious. It can be jilted so easily, and sometimes not at all by the person in question. Sometimes (usually, in my case) it’s our perception of [...]
Swept in to My Memory
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged alters, cults, depersonalisation, dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, memories, satanic ritual abuse, time on 8 October 2008 | 4 Comments »
I have been completely neglecting this blog for I don’t how long. Literally. Time has been optional lately, and even as I type this, I’m not at all sure what’s been going on in my life. The major DID-related development has been this bizarre way of looking at memories. I’m interacting with the person in [...]
Empty
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged depersonalisation, depression, dissociation, Therapy on 23 September 2008 | 2 Comments »
Something’s wrong. That’s the refrain that keeps running through my mind. I’ve at least got a small clue of which internal person is broadcasting this message, but if I’ve learned anything about my systems in the past two years, it’s that things frequently take me by surprise. I’m not moving forward, even though I truly [...]
Feeling Disconnected
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, depersonalisation, DID systems, family of choice, time on 1 September 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Ever feel like you truly have stepped outside of time and are existing in some sort of bizarre dimension? That’s how I feel today. I feel very disconnected from myself and my life overall. This sense of isolation is happening more and more lately, and that can’t be a good sign. It’s not a feeling [...]
The Roundabout Week So Far
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, The Week So Far, tagged alters, best friend, depersonalisation, DID systems, time on 20 August 2008 | Leave a Comment »
What a crazy week this has been! At some point, Sunday maybe? Monday? my best friend met with someone who at least looked like me. Several hours after they/we got together, I became present and absolutely confused. We were in a park where we frequently hang out, but I didn’t remember being there. No problem– [...]
And I Don’t Believe in Time…
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, tagged depersonalisation, dissociation, time on 29 April 2008 | Leave a Comment »
…as the cheesy pop song lyric goes. Sometimes I feel like I step outside of time, and when I step back in again I’m almost panicked at how much time has actually passed. One of the *things* about multiplicity is time loss or just general disturbances of time. Losing time is when days, weeks, sometimes [...]
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