Grief and anger are the two prevailing states of my mind these days, so pardon the endless ranting posts. This one focuses on abuse, with some specifics thrown in. Please be safe while reading. My standard trigger warning applies. * * I hate it when surprise triggers pop up. This morning, I was doing the [...]
Posts Tagged ‘expressing feelings’
Surprises
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, General Ranting, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged Abuse, cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, expressing feelings, flashbacks, memories, Mental Health, rant, satanic ritual abuse on 24 August 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Comfort in Strange Places
Posted in Friends & Family, General Ranting, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Spirituality, tagged Box of Rain, child loss, expressing feelings, Grateful Dead, grief, Mental Health, parental bereavement, song lyrics, Universe on 28 January 2011 | Leave a Comment »
As anyone who knows me can attest to, I have a very hard time with outward expressions of emotion. Actually, dealing with loss is the only thing that has left me unable to control my tears. That is so very frightening to me. The comfort in strange places bit comes from a time like that [...]
The Jim Croce Sessions
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, Therapy, tagged Abuse, cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, expressing feelings, memories, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, Therapy on 26 September 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Wednesday was my first memory work session with my therapist, and it went much better than I expected. No one freaked out during the session or even after. The therapist didn’t flinch when I mentioned generational satanism, and she listened to my description of an animal sacrifice without showing any outward signs of horror, other [...]
Change of Heart?
Posted in Abuse, Friends & Family, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, depression, expressing feelings, family of choice, grounding, holidays, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse on 5 February 2010 | 4 Comments »
I’ve always hated December. As any SRA survivor will tell you, December brings some ‘interesting’ issues. Why, then, am I wishing December of last year had never ended? I dearly missed going to see my family-of-choice, and I’m working toward getting up to see them soon. Still, Christmas comforted me somehow, and lighting the menorah [...]
Perfection
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged anger, best friend, cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, family of choice, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, trust on 15 September 2009 | Leave a Comment »
The cult in which I grew up is organised so perfectly that even when things at the leadership level went horribly wrong, a new plan was put in place quickly. It wasn’t as good as the original plan, of course, and it has caused years of repercussions that aren’t likely to slow up soon. Still, [...]
Support for the Supporter
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, General Ranting, tagged alters, anger, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, frustration, rant, relationships, significant others, stress on 27 August 2009 | 2 Comments »
Years ago, while searching online for information to help me in dealing with my mother’s DID, I found an excellent source of support and quickly signed up. In the decade or so I’ve been part of that group, I’ve been fortunate to meet people, some online and some in person, who have become like family [...]
Just a Note
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Therapy, tagged Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, grief, Mental Health, self awareness, Therapy on 19 August 2009 | 2 Comments »
This afternoon I was sifting through some old papers when I came across the last birthday card my mother had given me. It’s been years, of course, since I’ve seen her handwriting. The note was lovely. She’d written to me how much she enjoyed our unique relationship, and it made me smile to think of [...]
Learning Emotions
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, depersonalisation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, grief, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, self awareness on 1 August 2009 | 2 Comments »
It’s not unusual for survivors of childhood trauma to have very little concept of emotion as adults. For survivors of SRA, this is magnified even further. Recognising that SRA is a very controversial topic, I can only speak from my own experiences. However, I’m hoping this post might be helpful to other SRA survivors out [...]
Repeat Performances
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged Abuse, anger, best friend, depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, emotions, expressing feelings, memories, satanic ritual abuse, Therapy on 17 July 2009 | 4 Comments »
My last therapy assignment was to practise feeling emotions, and for once, I took the assignment seriously. My first effort led to SI. I take full responsibility for that, but I recognise the catalyst as well. This time, things went better and I actually learnt something that might be useful. If my therapist will actually [...]
Fallout
Posted in Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Therapy, tagged expressing feelings, family of choice, grief, Mental Health, Therapy on 2 November 2008 | 2 Comments »
Ever been hit so hard by your Stuff that it prevents you concentrating on anything else? At my therapy session last week, we spoke very briefly about the goodbye letters I wrote as part of the grief therapy bit in my treatment plan. We did not get in to detail in the least, as I’m [...]
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