I think one of the saddest things one can see is the transformation in the eyes of a child who goes through tragedy. This change was quite clear in my sister’s eyes, and I’ll never forget that. My sister was an accident, to say the least. The cult wanted my parents to have only two [...]
Posts Tagged ‘sra programming’
Transformations
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged Abuse, cults, family of choice, grief, Mental Health, Monkees, Shades of Gray, sisters, song lyrics, sra programming, suicide on 7 September 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Torchwood Triggers
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged Abuse, cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, Torchwood on 6 August 2011 | 3 Comments »
This post could be *very* triggering to folks with an SRA background. Please be careful. * * * * * * * * I *love* Torchwood. The first two series, that is. I haven’t seen the third series, a 5-episode miniseries called ‘Children of the Earth.’ Series Four is ‘Miracle Day.’ The show has been [...]
The Disappearing Blogger…
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, General Ranting, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, Mental Health, satanic ritual abuse, school, sra programming on 4 July 2010 | Leave a Comment »
It occurred to me today that I should update this blog. And the other blog, for that matter. My disappearance from the blogosphere can be explained in one word: school. Summer courses are incredibly difficult. I’m currently taking a course that condenses 16 weeks of material into 6 weeks. Absolute madness. I’m taking a shorter [...]
On the Outside
Posted in Abuse, Mental Health, Music, Ritual Abuse, tagged 3 Doors Down, cults, Mental Health, Music, satanic ritual abuse, song lyrics, sra programming on 14 May 2010 | Leave a Comment »
I’ve been thinking a great deal about the ‘technical’ aspects of SRA lately. The what is done and how it’s done bit. Programming is *incredibly* sophisticated, and I don’t really want to go into that at the moment. I do, however, want to recommend a song: ‘When I’m Gone’ by 3 Doors Down. Driving to [...]
Good Night
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, time, triggers on 11 January 2010 | 4 Comments »
Anyone else out there having quite a bit of trouble with night these days? I have had *tremendous* issues with programming and cult-stated prophecy lately. I make it through the days relatively well, but night is terrible. It’s like as soon as the sun sets the prophecies take over my mind. That statement alone lets [...]
Five Hundred Years
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, family of choice, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, winter solstice on 21 December 2009 | 5 Comments »
My brother-of-choice once told me to think of the fact that the cult in which I grew up has been wrong for 500 years. He asked how many groups I’ve heard of that, after 500 years of being wrong, all the sudden turn out to be right. I’m holding on to those words today. Hope [...]
The Unthinkable
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged alters, best friend, cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, family of choice, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, trust on 22 November 2009 | Leave a Comment »
My best friend and I went out for a little celebration yesterday. It was his birthday, which is definitely worth celebrating. He is, as I’ve said many times and will likely say many more times, one of the few truly good people in the world. He helped me through a *very* difficult time last week [...]
Masks
Posted in Ritual Abuse, tagged cults, family of choice, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, trust on 27 October 2009 | 3 Comments »
I’m feeling a bit out of sorts today. It’s one of those days when everything seems to swirl about and take me down in some sort of magnetic spiral. I feel like the sum total of the bad stuff in me outweighs the good by a great amount. There are two sides of me– the [...]
Dear Doomsdayers
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged anger, cults, new world order, prophecy, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming on 16 October 2009 | 2 Comments »
Do *not* tell me about the world. Don’t tell me about its beginning or your idea of its end. I stopped listening quite some time ago. Yes, you can still get to me. Your prophecies were burnt, beaten, and otherwise implanted in my mind. I suffered unspeakable conditions because of you. And what’s worse, you [...]
The Initial Loss
Posted in Grief & Loss, Ritual Abuse, tagged cults, evanescence, grief, memories, satanic ritual abuse, siblings, song lyrics, sra programming, suicide on 15 September 2009 | 2 Comments »
This post is about suicide linked to SRA and is a bit graphic. If you are a survivor of SRA, please take care in reading this and stop if you feel triggered. My younger sister took her life on 7 December 2000, three days after her 12th birthday. That day is etched in my memory. [...]
-
-
-
-
-
Categories
Tags
