We’re headed in to the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, and I am feeling anything but festive. In fact, I just want to duck my head until it’s over. But that brings 2012, apocalyptic crap & other fun with SRA. Back to holidays… My daughter’s stillbirth happened on 27 Dec. I’m already anticipating that [...]
Posts Tagged ‘stillbirth’
Holidays Suck
Posted in General Ranting, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, tagged child loss, grief, holidays, Mental Health, parental bereavement, stillbirth on 17 November 2011 | 1 Comment »
Hills & Valleys
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Music, Spirituality, tagged child loss, funerals, grief, Mental Health, parental bereavement, song lyrics, stillbirth, Universe on 30 August 2011 | 3 Comments »
I can’t seem to climb out of this grief valley right now. I know I will, but for now the sun is rather dark. That’s an interesting effect of grief- sometimes, sunny days truly do look dark. It’s beautiful outside today. The temperature is mild, the humidity is low, and there’s barely a cloud in [...]
Ghosts
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, tagged child loss, emotions, family of choice, grief, hospitals, Mental Health, parental bereavement, stillbirth on 2 August 2011 | 2 Comments »
Last week I had the absolute privilege and honour to stay with my family of choice who live at a distance from me. I only see them once a year, and I cherish every minute of our time together. Even though parts of the week were a bit mad, it ended with the peace, fun, [...]
Memorial Poem
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, tagged child loss, grief, memorial poetry, parental bereavement, poetry, stillbirth on 27 June 2011 | 2 Comments »
I have no idea who wrote this poem, but I am incredibly grateful to him or her. A fellow bereaved parent recommended the poem to me when I was floundering about trying to find the perfect words for my daughter’s memorial cards. It’s not the greatest in terms of the techniques of poetry, but that [...]
Six Months
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, tagged child loss, emotions, flashbacks, grief, Mental Health, parental bereavement, stillbirth on 26 June 2011 | 2 Comments »
In a few hours we’ll reach the six-month mark of when my beautiful daughter was stillborn. In part, I feel like it’s an accomplishment- I’ve lived with this pain for six months. The prevailing feeling is one of fear, though. I feel like she’s getting further and further away as time passes. I always want [...]
Across the Abyss
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Spirituality, tagged child loss, grief, Mental Health, parental bereavement, stillbirth on 10 March 2011 | 1 Comment »
I was doing well today. Actually, the day was average. I’m fine with average. Boring can be really good. Then tonight came, and I miss my daughter. I’ve been having horrible dreams about the day I walked in and found my sister’s body. That sight still bothers me tremendously sometimes. In the dreams, though, my [...]
Month the First
Posted in Grief & Loss, Mental Health, tagged child loss, grief, parental bereavement, stillbirth, Therapy on 27 January 2011 | 2 Comments »
One month ago, at 3:17 AM, my daughter was stillborn, and another version of me came to be. I feel so very much older than I felt before. My therapist tells me I’m living my life in reverse. I think she’s right. I think I’m stuck in a moment before The Moment. So much has [...]
To My Daughter
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, tagged child loss, grief, parental bereavement, stillbirth on 7 January 2011 | 3 Comments »
I wrote this letter to my daughter and wanted to share it here as a sort of tribute to her… Dear M N, I love you so much, and I would give anything to hold you in my arms. Even though you’ll never get the chance to smile, I’ve seen your smile a thousand times. [...]
Stillness
Posted in Friends & Family, Grief & Loss, Health, tagged family of choice, grief, parental bereavement, pregnancy, stillbirth on 31 December 2010 | 6 Comments »
My daughter was stillborn on Monday, 27 Dec. at 3:17 AM. I had been having cramps and spotty bleeding, but nothing showed up on ultrasound, so the OB wasn’t overly concerned. He just told me to rest and keep watch on things. Late the night of the 26th, though, the cramps developed in contractions and [...]
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