Anyone else out there having quite a bit of trouble with night these days? I have had *tremendous* issues with programming and cult-stated prophecy lately. I make it through the days relatively well, but night is terrible. It’s like as soon as the sun sets the prophecies take over my mind. That statement alone lets [...]
Posts Tagged ‘time’
Good Night
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged cults, Dissociative Identity Disorder, satanic ritual abuse, sra programming, time, triggers on 11 January 2010 | 4 Comments »
Dream States
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, tagged dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, self awareness, time on 4 November 2009 | 1 Comment »
My father said he never dreamed. I don’t know if he simply didn’t remember his dreams, or if he never truly reached the sleep state needed to have dreams. Interesting concept, regardless. I haven’t heard that from anyone else. As for me, my dreams are typically very vivid. They can range from blissful to average [...]
Nostalgia
Posted in Interesting Observations, Mental Health, Music, tagged del amitri, grounding, memories, Mental Health, self awareness, time on 1 July 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Here, on the other side of my night of panic, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. It can wrap you up in the past so badly that you forget to live the present. But, it can also motivate you. It can help you see the patterns in your life that [...]
Panic
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Ritual Abuse, tagged depersonalisation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, Mental Health, reincarnation, satanic ritual abuse, time, Wicca, winter solstice on 30 June 2009 | 2 Comments »
Today is the last day of June. The end of the first half of the year. And I am panicked. Very. I feel like time is going too fast and we’re headed too quickly towards a fiery end. I believe in reincarnation, have had some experiences that can only be described as past life memories, [...]
Swept in to My Memory
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged alters, cults, depersonalisation, dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, flashbacks, memories, satanic ritual abuse, time on 8 October 2008 | 4 Comments »
I have been completely neglecting this blog for I don’t how long. Literally. Time has been optional lately, and even as I type this, I’m not at all sure what’s been going on in my life. The major DID-related development has been this bizarre way of looking at memories. I’m interacting with the person in [...]
Feeling Disconnected
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged best friend, depersonalisation, DID systems, family of choice, time on 1 September 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Ever feel like you truly have stepped outside of time and are existing in some sort of bizarre dimension? That’s how I feel today. I feel very disconnected from myself and my life overall. This sense of isolation is happening more and more lately, and that can’t be a good sign. It’s not a feeling [...]
The Roundabout Week So Far
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, The Week So Far, tagged alters, best friend, depersonalisation, DID systems, time on 20 August 2008 | Leave a Comment »
What a crazy week this has been! At some point, Sunday maybe? Monday? my best friend met with someone who at least looked like me. Several hours after they/we got together, I became present and absolutely confused. We were in a park where we frequently hang out, but I didn’t remember being there. No problem– [...]
The Things They Say
Posted in Abuse, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Ritual Abuse, tagged expressing feelings, family of choice, self awareness, time, Writings on 29 July 2008 | 2 Comments »
They tell me no one will ever care for me the way they do. I say if that’s the case, I’d rather be lonely. They say it is my duty, part of my family’s heritage, for me to keep things going as they have for all these years. I say I’d rather be called a [...]
Triumphant? Return
Posted in Dissociative Identity Disorder, tagged coping strategies, dissociation, time on 5 July 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m peeking my head ever so slightly out of the sand again. One of the stronger internal folk has done the day-to-day interactions since I went inside a few days ago, and I’m very tentatively becoming more involved in things again. At least it was a very short time this go round. I’m at a [...]
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