Who’s Out First

Sitting in class this afternoon, I thought about that old American joke that starts with the line ‘who’s on first.’  My afternoon class normally fills about an hour, sometimes 90 minutes.  Today, in that short time four of my internal people popped by.  That’s a bit more activity than usual, which made the hour hilarious.

We started with Kathy, a 40-something who takes care of the internal children.  One of the other students who is much younger than me is at that place in her life where she hasn’t got a clue of her long-term goals.  She isn’t sure what major to choose, whether to keep going to college at all, etc.  She’s also having some health problems, questioning her sexuality, and having a variety of problems with her parents.  And, due to my great skill at attracting crazy people, I knew all of this about twenty minutes after meeting the dear girl.  Anyway, sensing a soul in need, Kathy began chatting with her, trying to help her a bit.  I’m guessing she was so consumed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the change in voice.  The guy sitting behind her did, though, and I got quite a strange look.  Fortunately, the class is rather large and almost over, so I don’t really have to worry about that.  I need to get somewhat more comfortable with that anyway.

For many reasons, this particular class makes me nervous.  Very soon into it my anxiety had risen to the point that I began feeling trapped.  Exit me and enter Rainn, a 16 year old who functions as somewhat of a protector.  She really likes the subject matter of that class, so it was no problem for her to participate.  Unfortunately, her handedness is opposite mine.  Another small detail I’m hoping no one noticed. 

Just for fun, the internal radio got turned on in the form of an 18 year old Scot called Mairead singing songs from the recent concert my best friend and I attended.  At least this time someone was singing songs I *like.*  A time or two it hasn’t gone like that, and I’ve ended up listening to horrible internal music (yes, best friend, I mean 80’s songs).  😉

Finally, just as class ended, an internal person who wishes to go unnamed made a brief appearance.  She very rarely interacts with the outside world, and she really didn’t today either.  She simply demanded that we leave without talking to anyone, walk quietly downstairs, and make no eye contact until we got to our car.  I could feel her fear and depression, which was rather unpleasant, of course.  By the time we got to my car, though, I was back in place and feeling fine.

I’ve missed a couple of days of this class, but I think the professor should erase those, given my five-times-over attendance for today.  But, that’s the problem with having many minds and only one body.  As some of the more outgoing internal people would say, they should be able to see *me* too!

Multiplicity is funny sometimes.  🙂


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