…as the cheesy pop song lyric goes.
Sometimes I feel like I step outside of time, and when I step back in again I’m almost panicked at how much time has actually passed. One of the *things* about multiplicity is time loss or just general disturbances of time. Losing time is when days, weeks, sometimes years, simply go away in your mind. You ‘wake up’ for lack of better terms, and realise it’s a week later than you last remembered. It’s difficult to catch up. I’ve learned a few tricks, and it’s especially helpful when one of my internal people writes in my journal during the time I’m not present. 🙂
This is different, though. This is like time no longer exists. Outside of time is the best way I can phrase it. I’m aware of what’s going on around me and I don’t have memory gaps, but it just feels like time has frozen. It feels like I’m slipping in and out of different years or something. Maybe it’s just memories going in and out of focus. Who knows.
This afternoon I must have travelled back a few years in my mind. It didn’t *seem* like anything had changed. I didn’t feel like I’d gone through the time warp. Then I saw a calendar and it was dated six years ahead of where I thought I was. I thought about how old that made me and what was actually going on in my life now. I don’t even live in the same place I lived back then, but somehow it seemed like I pushed back time so that my current life existed back then, too. How’s that for science fiction?
It was strange. I had no memory loss. Everything *seemed* normal. It’s just that the date on the calendar was wrong. It *is* 2002, right? (Only joking– I’m reoriented to time now).
For those of you out there who are multiple or have dealt with DID in other ways, have you ever heard of this sort of experience? It’s not time loss. Maybe we can call it time lack or something. I’m very familiar with DID, but this has thrown me just a bit.