A couple of years ago someone referred to a situation I was facing as unspeakable. That word bothers me, so much so that hearing it in a completely different context still throws me back to that time in my life. I can remember, even, where I was standing during that conversation. It’s curious how small things stick in your mind sometimes.
Let’s break down the word, shall we? Un-speak-able. Un- means not, speak is rather obvious, and -able means either worthy or, again obviously, to be able. So un-speak-able in this context would mean not able to speak [about]. It’s so bad it can’t be voiced.
That’s probably the reason this person’s description stayed with me and dug at me so much. I’m always saying there are some things that are so bad they can’t be spoken aloud. It prevents me talking about certain issues even with my therapist. This particular situation involved a great loss, and I don’t want this person or the issues surrounding his death to be unspeakable. As a general rule, people *need* to talk about those they’ve lost. While I sometimes ache even from talking about the happy memories I have of this person, it’s still better to talk. Those little memories always bring a smile. I’ll never have him back, nor will I have back the others I’ve lost. However, I’ll always have my memories of them, and by talking about the little details that made them who they were, I’ll make sure they remain a part of my life.