The Losing It Week So Far

And by losing it, I don’t mean going mad.  I mean actually losing things.  I’ve never been one to lose things.  Lately, though, things are going missing rather often.  My cell phone, keys, certain bills, et c.  Someone is definitely helping me.

Recently I had the pleasure of chatting with an inner small one of my sister-of-choice who commented on feeling like she was losing her balance rather frequently.  I automatically assumed that this was because she is a small person in an adult body.  The edges don’t fit right.  It was nice to see this look of understanding on her face– always good to feel validated, especially in something as strange as DID can sometimes be.  My inner little one, Lily, is going to give me a concussion some day.  She doesn’t quite realise that I can’t exactly walk through certain areas without dropping my head a bit.  🙂

And speaking of other multiples, I’m wondering if anyone else out there has this odd characteristic– I have trouble talking to other trauma survivors about trauma.  Even as a volunteer for a women’s shelter, I was uncomfortable bringing my own experience into things.  It’s not a question of the ‘who had it worse’ game that some people choose to get into; the trauma survivors who I know and am in contact with are far above that sort of juvenile behaviour.  It’s a perspective issue.  People who are not trauma survivors, in my experience, can provide a certain calming perspective that clicks things into place for me.  Other trauma survivors have been there and can certainly validate my experiences.  We can also help each other along the way with ‘tricks of the trade’ so to speak.  People who are not trauma survivors, though, can help me understand what that’s like.  Even though nobody grows up completely unscathed, the people who have not been through abuse give me a glimpse into what ‘normal’ families are like.  It’s something to measure against, something that helps me see what life should be like.  I don’t know.  This is very hard to explain, but that’s the best I can do.  Anyone else have this issue?

Off to group therapy, then.  (Just joking.)


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