I think my shrink has a profitable deal worked out with the makers of Seroquel. It’s either that or she truly believes it is a miracle drug that will cure all psychological ills. As I’ve said before, I have a bit of difficulty accepting bipolar disorder as part of my problems. It seems like DID would trump that somehow. For whatever reason, though, I’m having quite a difficult time of it with depression these days. Bipolar or not, depression isn’t great, and I would really like to do something about it. Increasing Seroquel is not that something. The conversation between the shrink and I went something like this:
Me: I’m still having a problem with depression. It’s not a great suicidal depression, just a gentle sort that feels like it has settled in for a bit.
Shrink: Well, I really think you should increase the Seroquel to 300mg. Someone with true bipolar disorder should be taking 400 at least.
Me: Seroquel gives me those nasty side effects, though. I’m a bit sensitive to that class of meds, remember.
Shrink: I still say you should go up on the Seroquel. You’re at the top dose on Lamictal, so if that’s not stabilising it you should go up on the Seroquel.
Me: It could be situational, too. I’m dealing with some rather difficult things right now.
Shrink: Well it could be medical.
Paula (internally): Oh god here she goes with that again. F*cking hell, lady, if you were in our situation how would *you* feel?
Kathy (internally): Now Paula, love, she is just trying to help. We should at least listen for a bit.
Paula (internally): F*ck that. If you want to listen to this sh*t that’s fine. Don’t drag me into it, though. I will *not* take more of that crap. It hurts the heart and makes the brain woozy. Like we’re not woozy enough for christ’s sake.
Me (internally): Would both of you SHUT UP so I can actually converse with the shrink. Being hospitalised is not part of my schedule currently.
Me (aloud): I’m terribly sorry, but I will not take more Seroquel. Actually, I won’t take it as a maintenance drug at all. It hasn’t really been shown to make a great lot of difference in bipolar depression anyway, and I’m not manic or psychotic.
L (internally): Well look who went to the swap meet and bought herself a big girl spine. I got that from that show you like, ‘Scrubs.’ I like it too. We can keep watching that.
Me: (trying not to laugh hysterically).
Shrink: Well, make an appointment with me for two weeks from now. If you’re not feeling better by then, we’re going to have to switch meds.
And so on, ad nauseam.
She’s thinking about lithium and depakote. I don’t know at all what might help medically, but we’ve definitely got to do something about this depression. Starting internally might be best.