Guilty

Who- or What- ever rules the Universe sometimes seems to have a laugh or an infinite amount of laughs about me.  As I wrote in another post, I had a bit of trouble with bulimia at one time in my life.  When I wrote that post I still felt somewhat optimistic that I could stop this eating disorder bit in its tracks and go on.  Not so much this time.  I’m really good at complicating my own life.

A few minutes ago I realised my stomach was growling.  Then I spent half an hour standing in front of a pantry trying to find something I could eat without feeling like the most disgusting person to walk the earth.  I really have gained weight, but something tells me this isn’t the way to handle the situation.  Mind you, I’m not sure how I *should* handle the situation.  I’m counting every little calorie and fat gram that enters my body, and I’m walking four miles a day.  Last week I gained two pounds.  Something doesn’t add up there.

Isn’t it great when you think you’re doing what you should be doing but not getting the right results?  Maybe I should join some sort of medical trial.  That’s it.  I’ll join a medical trial for skin cream or something.  The skin on my face turning blue would definitely take the focus off my weight.

Humour helps with any situation, including handling an eating disorder.

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