Smiling Through Grief

I wanted to share this poem with everyone, as it’s really helped me get through some difficult moments.  I’d like to think my son, in whatever form he’s taken, feels this way.  That first laugh or smile after the newness of the grief wears off can leave you feeling guilty in an odd sense.  It’s almost like we need permission, sometimes, from the person we’ve lost to smile again or to feel anything other than that horrible sense of grief.  My suspicion is, as the trite cliché goes, they do want us to heal.  It’s just a difficult task from this part of the Universe, especially when we feel like our grief is the last remaining tie we have to the person we’ve lost.

Right.  On to the poem…

I should point out that it is absolutely *not* my original work.  It’s by Christina Rossetti, a very talented English poet from the Victorian Period.  You can find this poem and a few other poems by Rossetti on this site.



Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more, day by day,

You tell me of our future that you plann’d:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.


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