I’m attempting to crawl out of my shell and rejoin the world, even if only by forcing myself step by step. Following along that logic, today was actually productive. I spent a half day at my current job and the rest of the day throwing myself in to the career-type job search project. I had two simple tasks– meeting with someone from a local school board and turning in the completed application packet for a position at a local hospital.
It was a fight at every step, but internal dialogue got me through. Driving toward the first office, Kathy kept reminding me that just being out in the working world was a great start. Every time a pesky ‘I can’t do this’ popped into my mind, she pushed it right out. In the end, the tasks weren’t so difficult as they seemed. The admin. assistant at the school board was pleasant, and the application process isn’t as tedious as some. Parts of it can be transferred to other school boards, even. I am so fortunate to have Kathy and would likely have covered my head and continued to hide today if not for her constant support. This is DID at its finest– internal people helping you deal with necessary tasks that you aren’t yet prepared to deal with on your own. I realise that the goal is, eventually, to depend less on my internal people, but at the moment, I can’t imagine getting by without them.
So it’s a start. I got through important tasks ‘alone’ today. I went out in to the world without having my best friend at my side and interacted with total strangers on a business level. This might seem like a small thing, but in terms of my current situation, it’s huge. I’m quite pleased with us.