My life is absolute hell right now. There’s no easy was to dress that up. I realise it’s up to me to change things. That’s easier said than done, and getting away from my current situation is something I’ve succeeded at on occasion, but I always manage to land myself back here. Frustrating, that.
I am feeling frustration and sadness. What I’m *not* feeling, however, is the urge to engage in self-injury or even the slightest bit suicidal. I’m dealing with the same icky Stuff I’ve dealt with for years, feeling incredibly caged and unable to break out of it, but I have no desire to go through with the destructive coping mechanisms that I’ve turned to.
Healing comes in small steps, but it’s the realisations such as this one that let me know I am, even in the midst of things sometimes, healing.