Today is the last day of June. The end of the first half of the year. And I am panicked. Very. I feel like time is going too fast and we’re headed too quickly towards a fiery end. I believe in reincarnation, have had some experiences that can only be described as past life memories, and know someone I trust and consider family who can help people through past-life regressions. But I’m panicked about a silly little calendar page.
I also believe in Wicca and the beauty of the year’s cycle. This year, I wasn’t even dreading the winter solstice with the absolute passion I typically feel. Now, though, I’m caught up in that fear again. I feel like my life is being lived all around me, but not within me. Actually, because I’m a bit stagnant at the moment, I feel like I’m not living a life at all. It’s possible to be stuck between lives, I know, but until very recently I didn’t have that feeling. I need to be involved in something outside of my current surroundings.
And now I’m panicked. Everything feels scary and spinning, and I’ve been caught in flashbacks for two days. If anything, I hope this calendar change brings peace.