Here, on the other side of my night of panic, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic. Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. It can wrap you up in the past so badly that you forget to live the present. But, it can also motivate you. It can help you see the patterns in your life that you’re repeating, good or bad, and it can help you remember where you wanted your life to go.
I wanted to have a stable career and a life free from the cult by the time I reached my current age. I’m a bit far from both of those goals, but I still have faith in them, and I still have faith (sometimes) in my ability to make them happen. Positive steps.
One has to be careful following down the road of the past and focusing on the changes time has caused. Time is merely a loop, and we choose the part of the loop we follow at any given moment. Everything grows older and time keeps passing, but it never really gets away. We just have to wait, sometimes, for the part we’re missing to come back ’round again.
There’s a line from Del Amitri’s song ‘When You Were Young’ that says it best– ‘And down nostalgia’s rocky road, you watch your former lovers growing old.’ Click here to see the video on YouTube by universalmusicgroup. It’s a great song, and very fitting for this lazy sort of homage to the past I’m meandering through at the moment.