Swings and Roundabouts

It’s an English phrase meaning each advantage of a situation comes with a disadvantage.  To me, it’s feeling like a very appropriate description of bipolar disorder.  My moods are swinging in pendulum fashion, and my thoughts are going round and round in incoherent flashes.  I’ve missed work, which leads to financial issues, and my ability to concentrate is gone, which leads to school issues.  Self-sabotage, once again, is a term that might apply.  Still, I really feel like this is bipolar disorder rearing its ugly head in response to tremendous stress.  One of the plates might have to fall, and that plate will be school.  But, I can’t think about that right now.  It will make the swings wider and the roundabouts more narrow.  I’ve just about had it with this disorder.  Too bad a snap of the fingers won’t make it go away.  I have a call in to the therapist.  That’s a first.  I never phone the clinic for extra assistance.  My moods are absolutely mad at the moment, though, and I’m just looking for someone to help me even things out.

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