Most of my ‘therapy work’ is happening outside of a therapist’s office right now. I had an appointment with my therapist last week, but she cancelled. The receptionist just said she wanted to cancel, not to reschedule. Fortunately(?), I had another appointment set already. Still, this is *not* working. She doesn’t seem any more willing to work with me than I am with her. She helped my best friend’s brother greatly, but with me, it’s like an hour of small talk.
If you’ve been following this blog, you know the saga. The most helpful therapist I’ve ever had decided to go into private practice, and as it turned out, she couldn’t see me anymore. That situation resolved relatively quickly. I came to the realisation that the therapist didn’t mean to hurt me and that I still felt very safe with the work we’d done. I was just sad it couldn’t continue.
The situation is largely financial. I’m skint, and the current clinic I go to is subsidised. Since the fees and cost of meds are income based, I can work with this. In order to see my old therapist again, though, I’d have to figure out how to pay a private psychiatrist and how to work out issues with meds. As it turns out, the drug company for the main medicine I take has an assistance programme in which patients can enroll themselves. It’s the same programme the subsidised clinic uses; I just wasn’t aware that I could apply on my own. Actually, I’ve just been recertified for that programme.
Without even knowing she was doing so, the former therapist was working with deprogramming. It took *me* a while to see that. I know that, if anybody can help me heal, she can do it. Therefore, Monday I’m going to phone the drug company and ask about the process of switching doctors. If it’s possible for me to continue in the med-assist service, I’ll move on to phoning private psychiatrists. I need to find one who accepts patients who do not have insurance. A friend has agreed to pay for the initial consultation, and from there, I can put back money for further appointments. I’ll probably only see this person every six months. Broken up into those time increments, I can save up for sessions.
Finally, and perhaps the scariest part of all of it, I’ll phone my former therapist and see if she’s even open to seeing me again. She told me to phone if my financial situation changed. If I can work things out like this, my financial situation will have changed. I would be free to break ties with the subsidised clinic and use providers of my own choice. I *want* to work on healing the ugly things from my past, and I know she can go through that journey with me.
Please, in however you do so, send along positive thoughts toward making this happen. Whether it’s prayer, meditation, spellwork, or any other type of spirituality, I would truly appreciate your assistance, dear readers, in helping me get back to the one therapist who can help me. Thanks!!