Asking

If I could see my sister now
I’d ask if she remembered
That train when she was five years old
The day we went down shopping
And had ice cream by the water
Chocolate sticky & sweet on her fingers
Laughter shining in her eyes

I’d ask if she remembered falling in love
With our first Islington flat
She cried when we moved out
Kissing walls & windows
Telling them she’d miss them
Her first safe home

I’d ask if she remembered turning 10
That milestone where her age took on two numbers
When we went out to her favourite restaurant
And stayed up watching movies long past bedtime

I’d ask if she remembered falling asleep against me that night
And how I held her far too long
Marvelling at the person she was becoming

I’d ask if she remembered the day she turned 12
Rounding the corner to see us standing there
Attempting to hide her smile but failing
Such a beautiful child & a beautiful day

I’d also ask if she remembered the day she decided to take her life
I’d ask if she remembered why or even how
I’d ask if there was anything I could have done or said
Anything anyone could give

I’d ask if she remembered that afternoon & if she could see
me standing over her
I’d ask and ask until time ran out again

If I could ask my sister anything now
I’d ask if she remembered
How much she was so loved
________________________________
Oh, why? That’s what I keep asking
Was there anything
I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you’d leave the stage
In the middle of a song

–‘Why‘ by Rascal Flatts

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