I’m having an odd experience, for want of better words.  As it turns out, I’m a mobile phone hoarder.  Hadn’t really thought of it as such, but I realised a few days back that there are seven mobiles in my desk drawer.  Seven.  Swimming through the cell phone graveyard, I noticed one relatively old T-Mobile model.  Immediately, my mind started whirring.  I have a memory attached to this little clamshell phone, and it’s just beyond my grasp.  I see myself sitting in a park, wearing a denim jacket, and opening the text message screen.  Then, I see myself start to text.  And that’s it.  There are strong emotions attached to this almost memory.  Very strong.  I just can’t quite access it.

Fast forward to yesterday, and I have switched cell carriers after much ado.  The phone is very, very simple.  It’s seven years old and no longer supported by T-Mobile’s servers, so it has no Internet access.  The dialpad looks like a traditional telephone, so there is no keyboard.  No camera, no apps, et c.  I had been using a Samsung Android smartphone with a very large touchscreen, loads of apps, and all sorts of online capabilities.  However, I feel better with this tiny, incredibly generic clamshell mobile phone, simply because it runs on T-Mobile.

The overarching, maddening and incredibly daft thought was that, if only I switched back to T-Mobile, everything would be ok again.  Everything would be the same.  I have absolutely no idea what’s driving this feeling or what ‘the same’ actually means.  All I know is my bill increased by $10, my phone became incredibly basic and I feel a bit better, more settled, with no idea of why.


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