I’m having an odd experience, for want of better words. As it turns out, I’m a mobile phone hoarder. Hadn’t really thought of it as such, but I realised a few days back that there are seven mobiles in my desk drawer. Seven. Swimming through the cell phone graveyard, I noticed one relatively old T-Mobile model. Immediately, my mind started whirring. I have a memory attached to this little clamshell phone, and it’s just beyond my grasp. I see myself sitting in a park, wearing a denim jacket, and opening the text message screen. Then, I see myself start to text. And that’s it. There are strong emotions attached to this almost memory. Very strong. I just can’t quite access it.
Fast forward to yesterday, and I have switched cell carriers after much ado. The phone is very, very simple. It’s seven years old and no longer supported by T-Mobile’s servers, so it has no Internet access. The dialpad looks like a traditional telephone, so there is no keyboard. No camera, no apps, et c. I had been using a Samsung Android smartphone with a very large touchscreen, loads of apps, and all sorts of online capabilities. However, I feel better with this tiny, incredibly generic clamshell mobile phone, simply because it runs on T-Mobile.
The overarching, maddening and incredibly daft thought was that, if only I switched back to T-Mobile, everything would be ok again. Everything would be the same. I have absolutely no idea what’s driving this feeling or what ‘the same’ actually means. All I know is my bill increased by $10, my phone became incredibly basic and I feel a bit better, more settled, with no idea of why.
