I don’t write alot about the personal aspect of DID any more. Although the subject is a focus on this blog, it’s more a general sense. I decided quite some time ago that the details of my particular experience are private. Today, however, I’m breaking with that thought to make an announcement. We’ve been busy over the past year or so, and the personalities have been reduced from 250+ to eight. Imagine the difference.
A major decision was made, and therapy has been a major part of that. The therapist isn’t too keen on DID, and I understand that. To get the full benefit of therapy, though, I’ll need to work through the full extent of memories. To work through memories, I need to be aware of them. The process has been find person, write out objective accounts of memories, discuss memories in therapy, assimilate person. This will not work well for everyone with my particular condition, but it has worked quite well behind the scenes for me.
No case of DID is going to be like the next, and I might catch some heat for this post. For me, standing on my own is essential. Some deal with co-consciousness and are fine with that. Others, like me, are not satisfied with it. I need to be able to stand completely on my own. I don’t want therapy to continue for years on end, nor do I want to give up a single minute of my life to a personality that may or may not share with me. This is a very personal decision that is right for *me.* I do not in any way suggest that it’s the right way to do things (there isn’t one) or that everyone should follow my lead. It’s simply what’s best for me and the general consensus for moving forward.
Eight remain, and the goal is for only me to remain by the end of the year. My thoughts on that are varied, and my emotions are extreme. For me, however, this is what needs to be done.