Torn

I seem to be in an impossible situation right now.  My living situation is volatile, to say the least.  My housemates, especially one, tend to be violent.  Based on ties from my past, though, I can’t move out.  This leaves me, to some extent, trapped.  I’m trying to come to accept that, although I do still fight with it from time to time.  The best choice here is just to accept it and work within the confines.  Hence the reconnecting bit.

Today, an opportunity presented itself.  I’ve been working from home for many years, which has been both a blessing and a curse.  It has shielded me from the stress of commuting and allowed me to set my own schedule.  It has also allowed my social anxiety to grow and let me seclude myself.  Working a full-time job is a bit overwhelming to consider; working part-time is turning out to be less viable these days.  The opportunity that came about today is a part-time job in a place I truly love.  I know I can do the work, and the fact that it’s only part-time makes it doable.  The problem?  My housemate, who became threatening at the thought of my working outside the house.

This has led to me being overwhelmed, confused, and torn.  At the time of the conversation with the recruiter, all I could think about was my happiness at the thought of working in this place.  Then, my resolve faltered with the words of my housemate.  Now, I’m overwhelmed and questioning everything.  Will I still get to spend enough time with my cats?  Will I be able to handle my routine being interrupted?  Will I be able to juggle *two* part-time jobs?  I can’t answer those questions, and I’m really not sure whether they should stop me even doing the interview.

Life is so confusing sometimes.

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