Finding the Lighter Side

Healing doesn’t always have to be about digging deeply in to the recesses of your mind and bringing to light those things which you have repressed.  It can also be hysterical.  Take, for instance, laundry.  This morning, I switched out jumpers for lighter shirts and was bemoaning the very short sleeves known as ‘women’s styles.’  Not enough coverage for someone whose arms are above average size, house self-injury scars, and are marked with an identifying satanic symbol.  Then a thought occurred to me about a new advert for tees.  I could almost hear the far-too-eager announcer’s voice:

It’s Spring again, ladies and gents, and what do we all need?  Long sleeved tees! In breathable fabric, bright Spring colours, and flirty Summer styles.  Perfect for those freshly cut arms!

Yes.  Healing can be funny sometimes.  In fact, it just has to be.  🙂

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My Alters…

…want to sign my cast.  Explain that one to outside people. 🙂

I had a bit of a disagreement with a cult member on Friday, and that left me with a fractured hand.  It’s only a minor fracture, and the cast should be removed on 6 April.  Still, I think it’s hysterical that a group of alters want to sign my cast.  Welcome to the more zany and humourous side of DID.

Someone Else’s Been Dreaming

I haven’t written about multiplicity in a bit, largely because of the discomfort factor.  As this is, in part, a blog about that, though, I wanted to share the latest multiple hilarity.

This morning, I woke up with tears running down my face and really swollen eyes.  Obviously, someone had been sobbing.  I had no idea who or why, and one of the Little Peoples yelled ‘someone else’s been dreaming!’  He was a bit whiny.  No one wanted to be awake that early, but sleeping whilst sobbing is a bit difficult.  Here’s how the story unfolds:

My best friend and I typically spend Saturday nights together.  Last night, however, he had early holiday plans, so we were on our own.  Our plans have changed swiftly a few times this month, as I’ve said in previous posts.  The breakup of the routine in general, regardless of the people or person involved, shakes things.  I wasn’t surprised, then, when things were out of sorts.  I just wanted to know *why* they were out of sorts.

Lily, red faced and still hiccuping from sobs, announced to me that my best friend told her he was moving to Brooklyn for work.  She played back a scene for me- My best friend phoned with news, and we got together.  He said he’d taken a job in Brooklyn and asked if we were coming with him.  When we said we couldn’t, he said he’d keep in touch. Then, he phoned again to say he wasn’t moving to Brooklyn.  Instead, he’d taken a job in a town called Cretin in Texas.

The cavalier attitude should have struck me first thing.  My best friend and I are as close as two people can get.  I trust him as completely as I possibly can, and we truly love each other.  If he were actually moving far away, he’d handle telling us with much more finesse.  Still, it confused me.  I wasn’t sure whether Lily was showing me a dream or showing me a bit of time I’d missed.  I very, very rarely lose time.  With something as traumatic as learning my best friend was moving far away, though, I might well have blocked out the conversation.

So, not wanting to interrupt my best friend’s plans, I paced a bit all day wondering whether I’d seen a dream or reality.  Once mid-afternoon came, I sent my best friend a text.  We chatted a bit, and then I very tentatively told him Lily’s dream.  He laughed via text.  Being the amazing person that he is, he reassured us that he is, indeed, staying with his current job and location.  Lily’s dream was only a dream.

I feel like I should say ‘end scene.’

She Was a Day Sleeper

Working afternoons, taking an early class, and helping out at a doctor’s office makes for a busy schedule. My shift ends at 11:00 PM most nights, and twice a week I have class at 8:00 AM. With a 40 or so minute commute, the day seems to start incredibly earlier. Mondays and Fridays, I work 12:30-4:30 at the doctor’s office. All of that to say I am, at times, a day sleeper. I do not do well with sleeping in the day.

This isn’t a total rant.  Rather, it’s an hysterical account of today.  Because I completely forgot about an outline due today in my class, I had to start working on it after my shift.  I finished it about 2:00 AM, five hours before I had to leave for class.  Then there was that bit about turning off my mind.  That took until 4:00 AM or so, when I finally fell asleep.

Having been back from class for a few hours now, I actually tried to sleep.  That lasted all of 15 minutes or so and then the world took over.  Other people do things during the day.  Odd concept. 🙂  A dear friend phoned and asked me to run an errand for her.  I got an urgent email from another friend.  (Checked email to look for changes to my work schedule.)  Then I remembered an errand *I* needed to run.  And so on…

Who needs sleep?  I got more rest working night shifts.  🙂

Spam Comments

Bless the spammers who try.  I don’t get a great deal of spam comments on this blog (Thanks WordPress).  When I do get spam, though, it’s usually a chain of bizarre letters or numbers sent by someone with an email address that would make most email clients explode in confusion.

Some, however, are more ambitious.  Lately, the spam message I’ve been getting is something along the lines of ‘good post, I’m going to blog about this too!’  I got an even more ambitious one today– ‘I don’t have a bunch to say about this, but…’  I can’t remember the rest of it.  That’s hilarious, though.  A spammer left a lukewarm comment on my blog.

So to all of you spammers who merely send chains of letters and number, you’ve got competition.  At least leave me a lukewarm comment.  I love knowing how spammers feel about my writing.  🙂

And Other Oddities

My best friend and I watched the film ‘Across the Universe’ last night.  To quote his spot on response to a film we watched a couple of years ago, I want my two hours back.  It was annoying at best, disturbing at worst.  There *was* a plot line, to some extent, but, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, the music got in the way.  I suppose it was an ‘art’ film– I had visions of angst-ridden teenagers telling me just didn’t *understand*– but it reminded me a bit of a schizophrenic’s symphony or a really long acid trip.  Acid makes one *see* music, you know.  I haven’t dropped acid, nor will I ever, but from what I’ve seen it is definitely an experience.

The film really was quite disturbing to me, and whilst we where watching it, I couldn’t quite figure out what it was that made me feel shaken.  Afterward, though, it occurred to me that the writers and producers captured quite realistically the atmosphere surrounding sudden and intense violence.  The film was set in 1960’s America and focused rather alot on the Vietnam War.  Scenes of riots and protests, along with brief clips of war activity (all fictionalised) were rather prominent in the film.

Now for the funny part–

Overtly, the shift in my accent was hysterical to my best friend and me.  I’m a Scouser by birth, but it was very important to my mother that both my sister and I learn to ‘talk proper’ as she said.  Bless the woman, she did try and I do my best to speak the Queen’s English.  Last night, though, between my being rather exhausted and listening to a fellow Liverpudlian on screen for two hours, my accent was thick enough to make John Lennon proud.  This morning, I’m wondering if my mother has yet stopped turning about in her grave.

The covertly funny part was mine and my best friend’s brief conversation about beatings.  One of my internal folks crouched down at a particular scene in the film and covered her head.  That got me thinking about the natural position people assume when they know they’re about to be beaten.  I don’t mean punched on the nose, rather, actual beatings.  You ball up small and cover the back of your head.  The *really* funny part was my detailed reasoning behind that.  If you place your forearms on the top of your head and set your wrists at the top of your neck, you prevent your head and the upper part of your spine being struck directly.  Crouching your shoulders sets the midsection of your back highest, which is typically the broader part and can stand more force.  Funny how natural things like that become when they’re just something you’ve lived with a bit.  I can’t believe I could actually *quantify* that.

Who says growing up in abuse households creates only maladaptive coping mechanisms?  🙂

Just Another Tuesday Afternoon

I ‘went away’ for a bit to chat with Kathy, an internal helper, and apparently the kids went a bit mad.  Mairead, in all her greatness, was watching them, but they managed to get away with my mobile phone and text my best friend.  They were *very* proud of having outsmarted the ‘big peoples’ and were quick to let my best friend know.  🙂  Bless him, he does know how to work with the little ones.  When I came back from our internal tea time, Mairead growled out ‘Would you just *look* at your phone’ and I got the spectator’s version of a hilarious little conversation.

Now here sits the lot of us– Kathy and me trying not to laugh hysterically lest we insult someone, two very happy children who were only mildly scolded, and a disgruntled Scottish teen who is sulking because *kids* got the better of her.  🙂

Yes, folks, it’s just another Tuesday afternoon.

Just a Funny Thought

I have no idea why I’m thinking about this, but sometimes we really should go with the obvious answer.  At the height of the Harry Potter craze, the Jelly Belly company released a product line called ‘Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.’  If you’re familiar with the Harry Potter books and films, you know that these candies include some, we’ll call them interesting, flavours.  On a dare from my dear best friend, I tried the vomit flavoured bean, and it tasted like, well, vomit.

Sometimes things *are* exactly as they seem.  🙂

Monster Kitty!!

My cat is a bit of an attention…er…hound. This is what happened when she walked just in front of the lens as I snapped a picture with my digital camera.  Slightly reminiscent of the giant cat who stalked his way through the streets of London in Terry Gilliam’s animations, isn’t she?  And believe me, she is devious enough to do such a thing!  🙂

Monster Kitty!!