I got the job I really wanted. And kept it for less than an hour. I had been looking forward to this position, even hoping it might lead to full time one day. My housemate, however, had other ideas. He phoned up the temp agency, said he was my boss, and cancelled my position. They phoned me to confirm. With the threat my housemate poses, I had no choice but to tell them I couldn’t take the job. I was– and remain slightly– crushed.
A funny thing has come out of this, though. I know I’ll be ok. Financially, things are dismal. This job would have solved many of my problems. It obviously isn’t possible for me to take it, though, so I’ll just have to make do with what I have. And, for the most part, I know I can. See, there is something resilient about the human spirit, and I can see that part of myself. I will persevere. In fact, I will live well. Afterall, I am the only person who can truly ruin my life. They will never break me.
I’m slowly learning that taking chances doesn’t always mean failing or getting burnt. Mercury is retrograde, which is typically a bad time to make business decisions or important changes. Before I realised that, however, I made a request of my bosses and waited all day to see how it would turn out. It was *amazing* news.
Taking that one chance has opened up the door to another chance that will open the door to opportunities I have been missing. If things work out as such, some of my financial stress will be lifted, and I’ll be able to put money in to my savings account for a rainy day fund. I won’t have to be so careful with every tiny cent. I won’t be nearly rich; in fact, I’ll still be under the poverty line. From taking this one chance, however, I stand to be one step closer to where I want to be.
Taking chances is so difficult. It is also so necessary sometimes.
Today, I feel some hope. This is as surprising to me as it probably will be to you, dear readers. I’m cautious in my hope, though. My brother-of-choice pointed out that I seem to have ‘time warped,’ and he is absolutely right. This helps my perspective. I can see the old tapes for what they are: the thoughts that were meant to hold me down. My living situation complicates things, but it doesn’t make life impossible. I need to remember that.
Tomorrow is my job interview for the part-time position that I *really* want to get. I tried not to get my hopes up, but they are. To some extent, this is a good thing. I didn’t think I’d feel hope again any time soon. Hope I shall, though, that this job works out, that life outside of my house happens again, and that reconnecting with myself is an attainable goal.
Just wanted to send along a thanks to all of you who read, subscribe, and leave some wonderful insight. Without you…well, there would still be this blog. It would just be alot less interesting. 😉
Thanks for reading! I wish you all the absolute best in the upcoming year.
Peace, love, and hope to us all.