New Directions

It occurs to me that, since I have started blogging again, this blog will likely take on a new direction.  I’m not the same person I was when I first started the blog, and I haven’t got the same concerns.  Back then, life was all about finishing graduate school and coping with the recently-divulged secret of my multiplicity.  Now, grad school is a distant accomplishment, and I am fully integrated.  Life has definitely changed.  Looking back at old posts, even the tone of my writing has changed.  Frightening and exciting all at once.

So what am I doing now?  Glad you asked.  Now, my life focuses primarily on bipolar disorder– something that can’t be resolved via therapy– and veganism/animal rights.  As well, I am proudly Wiccan and involve many Pagan practices in my daily life.  These are the pieces of me that remain post-integration.  I still deal with trauma flashbacks and will likely write about that subject from time to time.  It’s no longer a daily focus, though.  Now, my life is about using my beliefs to walk as gently as possible on the Earth.  I feel whole in my mind and spirit, so my focus is sharper on the causes I support.

That’s the funny thing about change– it’s ok!  We all change as life progresses, but we never lose our value.  Thanks for following along with this new leg in my journey, dear readers.  I hope you continue to share parts of your journey, as well.

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Invocation

The food issues have been cycling up and down so frequently that I’ve felt completely out of control.  At the advice of a fellow Wiccan and wonderful friend, I did an invocation of the Goddess Artemis last night.  This was my first time working with the Greek pantheon, and it went very well.  Artemis is a huntress.  She has great strength and provides protection for women who call on Her.  My friend suggested invoking the strength of Artemis and calling it inwardly.  That has definitely helped.

For me, invocations start with research about the deity.  I look for what they like in terms of offerings, colours for candles, smells for incense, and liquid for the chalice.  Artemis, as it turns out, likes woodsy elements.  My offering to her was a fresh green apple and a green candle lit to honour her.  Next, I researched invocation chants.  Sometimes, I write my own.  Being unfamiliar with the Greek pantheon, though, I used one that had already been written.

To start the invocation, I cast my circle.  Then, I read the actual chant aloud and sat at the altar, looking at an image of Artemis and awaiting Her presence.  As it turns out, She was more than willing to take part.  I felt my arms lifted upward then wrapped about me.  The warmth was incredible, and I heard Artemis’s voice letting me know, as the invocation said, that She was with me in that hour.  She pledged Her help to me in healing and in learning to nurture myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I used to know how to do those things quite well, and I have no doubt Artemis will help me re-learn them.

After the invocation, the sense of warmth and protection lasted for hours.  This morning, I fought off the urge to skip breakfast and had a cup of very healthy cereal with a half cup of soy milk.  In my mind, I could hear Artemis reminding me of the importance of nurturing myself, and I knew I didn’t want to undercut the help She’s offered.  People argue that Wiccans are satanic because they believe they control the powers Judeo-Christians attribute to their God.  For me, though, I am merely a channel.  I don’t *cause* things to happen.  I just ask for what I need for myself and those I love.  Then, I have faith that a deity will communicate with me in how to achieve my needs and help others.  I am both humbled and grateful.