I got a text message from my best friend tonight. This is not unusual, of course. What *is* unusual, though, is my missing a text from him. This did not go over well with Lily. Or with me, really. I guess it’s an abandonment/major losses thing– whenever I miss the small things that happen in mine and my best friend’s friendship, I panic. It’s the small things that make a difference. He and I have shared some absolutely amazing adventures. We’ve travelled a bit, tried unusual foods (see: Bertie Bott’s vomit beans 🙂 ) and done some local touring that turned out really well. We’ve also spent cold, rainy nights watching bad DVD’s, lazy afternoons just hanging about, and warm summer evenings walking beside the Riverfront. Those little moments make all the difference. So when I miss a tiny little text message that was just a small joke from a movie we watched last night, I panic.
Lily, who was supposed to be in bed, popped up to absolutely yell at me about not having the phone near so that her M Body Person could talk to her. That woke Timmy who began to cry because Lily was crying. And that attracted the attention of Mairead, who has taken over as internal caretaker of the children since the former internal caretaker became what Mairead refers to as a CAB– Crazy Ass B*tch. Ah, love among the alters. Just as things started to get absolutely maddening, my phone buzzed. My best friend texted, completely unexpectedly since it’s a bit late, and all was calm. Immediately. With one text message, my best friend was able to calm the entire internal core group.
And I am terrified.
I’ve never trusted someone so deeply in my life, nor have I ever let anyone get this close. Now we’re at the ultimate in trust– I recognise that my best friend could absolutely crush me in just a few words. I’ve lost so many people, either to death or otherwise, and losing my best friend would be my complete downfall. I couldn’t withstand that. For someone as wonderful as him, though, it’s worth the risk.
Our lives are made in these small hours
These little wonders, these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours still remain
— Rob Thomas, ‘Little Wonders’